last day at Atmavikasa but first day of self practice

Last blog and it is with pleasure that I dedicated it to Acharya Venkatesh who has patiently followed each of us with dedication in these last six weeks.

I learned a lot from him. Some few asana like Angustasana and Shirapadasana but my praises do not go only for these. I believe that yoga goes beyond physical practice so one asana more or less is not a great difference. What I really learned is that I am a beginner. The mighty Arjuna fell into despair once facing the battlefield, for finding back his courage and determination only thanks to the direction of lord Krisha, similarly in stepping out my ‘ashtanga-bubble’ I felt powerless, weak and crocked. Venkatesh took away these clouds and made me understand that many times in my rushing from an asana to another as I was simply hiding my laziness, weakness or simple imprecisions. After years of dedicated practice I lost discipline until having an irregular and shivering two-times a week practice for a couple of months. Along with it was a wrong diet that was the only availability I could have for over three months.

I remember that before coming I often thought ‘uff, I should have done a detox of a month before going to practice seriously.’ Then I came and I got all I was looking for: serious practice and detox.

As I was saying Venkatesh Acharya broke all my habits, different sequence, difficult asanas from day one and to be kept for a long time. Even the most basic Utthita Trikonasana or Janu Sirsasana, the ABC in ashtanga, had something to correct and even when the physical side was aligned here is the biggest change: memories and emotions of any kind taking my mind in all directions, moments of happiness where followed by deep sadness and in between feelings of being a bit lost. Each week both Venkatesh and Hema Acharyas seemed to know what we were passing trough and then after bringing us inside this tornado they also lead us out of it. It was a very deep detox that went way beyond the physical one I was looking for, something I could experience only during the Vipassana retreat.

Another difference learned from Venkatesh Acharya is the importance of a slow breath rather than the ujjay breath as in Ashtanga. I learned my lower back is very hard, my knees are always trying to bend a bit while practicing and I learned to suffer from mild lordosis hence I need to keep awareness on these facts while practicing in order to correct or at least improve them. In one of the back-bending classes I felt my lower spine pierced by a needle, and that was the reawakening of that painful needle which pierced me exactly there for a local anesthesia prior operation. That was almost twelve years ago, and this memory was still latent there blocking my lumbar area. After this day I got more sensitive on that area and I find it easier now to control and engage it.

I feel much more vibrant and healthy, strong in mind and less attached to the emotions always wavering in one’s mind. My skin is much brighter even if occasionally I get pimples; this to me is good as the body is telling me what not to eat and at the same time poring these toxins out rather than storing them for a more complicate health related issue. My body is still demanding for a lot of sleep, luxury that in these past months I could not afford.

Many thanks dear Acharya Venkatesh and Hema and surely I will see you very very soon. Until then do not worry: banana, practice and the most important thing—the smile—will be my daily bread. OM

http://www.atmavikasayoga.in/